The
importance of body language - By Frank van Marwijk
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The importance of
body language
People can not live without each other, we are social beings. As
soon as we are in contact with others we are communicating. For this
we can make use of spoken and written language. In these ways we
make the content of a message clear to each other. However we can
also communicate without words. This kind of communication tells us
something about the relationship between people. Often this is more
important than getting the content of the message across. The
communication about this non spoken communication, which tells us
something about the relationship between people, is called
Meta-Communication. Communicating about communication!
Words are inadequate
When we connect with a person, we also have to make it clear to each
other how the content of a spoken message needs to be interpreted.
How we do this says something about the relationship we have with
the other person, or think we have anyway. Often words are
inadequate for this purpose. For instance we do not tell each other
that easily how we feel about each other, or how the words of a
message need to be interpreted. To make the meaning of our words
clear we use body language. Body language is a language without
spoken words and is therefore called non verbal communication. We
use body language all the time, for instance looking someone in the
eyes means something different than not looking someone in the eyes.
In contact with others it is just not possible to be not
communicating something.
Subconsciously
Usually body language occurs unconsciously. Yet the body language we
use decides to a large extent the quality of our communication. It
follows that therefore it would be good to become conscious of our
own and others' body language. We can learn to use our body language
for a purpose. As well as learn to understand and interpret body
language of others. It is important to note that body language has
different meanings in different cultures. How we can interpret body
language depends on the situation, the culture, the relationship we
have with the person as well as the gender of the other. This means
that there is not one signal that has the same meaning all over the
world. If you do not take this into account you may get yourself in
some serious trouble! Body language is also interlinked with spoken
language and a whole pattern of behaviour from a person. As well as
that, various body language signs can complement each other to make
a particular meaning crystal clear or strengthen the meaning of what
we communicate. Some groups have developed a whole specific body
language which can be very explicit in its meaning and is used to
communicate where the use of words may otherwise be difficult or
dangerous. Examples of this are mostly groups, such as gay people,
people in slavery, prisoners, etc. who have a history of prejudice
against them from the dominant culture. on.
Used to express feelings
Body language is used especially to express feelings. For instance
if we do not like someone, it is often difficult to say that
directly to the person. However we can make it clear either
intentionally or unintentionally through body language. The opposite
is also true. We may say that we ARE angry through words yet our
body language may be saying loud and clear that we are NOT. This can
be very confusing for the receiver. This is usually described as
giving out double messages - one message in words and an opposite
message in body language. It is also difficult to lie or cover up
our feelings through body language. People may give their true
feelings away by not being aware of their body language. Research
has shown that most people pay more attention to, and believe more
readily, their impression of how a person acts through body language
than what is said through words. As a consequence we tend to doubt,
or put a question mark behind, the spoken words if they do not
correspond with the language of the body .
The importance of knowing how we communicate
How we come across to someone is decided only for a small part by
the words we speak. To leave a good impression behind, say at a job
interview, it is important that we know, and to a certain extent can
control, our body language. The person on the receiving end of our
body language will have a feeling or impression that is often
difficult to describe - difficult to put into words or difficult to
prove what actually was communicated. Haven't we all said at times:
'I have a feeling he/she likes me', or something like: 'I doubt if
what he/she is saying is really the truth'. This type of feeling is
called intuition. Body language plays a big role in intuition as it
gives us messages about the other person that we can interpret at an
intuitive level. It is therefore necessary to get to know our own
body language first. We should learn about it so that we can
recognise it in others as well as in ourselves. For this purpose,
all the different aspects of body language that we can learn
something from will be described next.
More on this topic you can find at: http://www.lichaamstaal.com/english
Frank van Marwijk
Bodycom Lichaamscommunicatie (Body Communication)
The Netherlands
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